You Were The Rock

"Randy, for being my brother in this lifetime, thank you. For holding my children when they cried, thank you. You were the rock, the one who called us in every corner of the province and made us promise to be at the lake you picked out. You always told us what to bring, what we were going to eat, and how much.
Oh boy did you love to cook. You used to say to us, "No wonder I'm this big. I have to sample all this food to see if it's good enough." It always was.

I let his name echo through the pages of my memories. I saw him as a toddler, then starting school and coming home to sing us his songs. I HAVE A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS and the one about THE MUFFIN MAN. We agreed he was the muffin man.

His wedding and his children. Him doing all the cooking at all the get-togethers.
I thanked him for validating my place in the family that only other siblings can do. They know because we've shared the same womb.

My son and husband and my brother Ed stood nearby sobbing quietly, each man in his own pain and running after the memories of this special man. Brother, brother in law, and uncle.

The room was cold and gray, but the light that bounced off the walls was warm and felt free. I thought I heard him say, "It's OK sis, I'm here". I knew then he was free to fly where spirits go when Great Spirit calls. I said a prayer. I send my prayers on eagles wings way up into the sky, so I can see from mountains high where angels go to cry.

His truck was blue and I called it The Big BlueBird. Now he is the bluebird. "Go fly away home Randy. Its OK now, thank you for your being, for your love, thank you for loving me. Go fly away home, its OK".

I took a small snip of his hair and I could smell his essence. I kissed him and stroked his hair once more. "Oh Father, hold this one dear and keep him safe on his spiritual journey home."

I could leave now and as I held his lock of hair to me, I heard him say, "remember me in this."